Alcohol Dependency
Alcohol Dependency Recovery Live-in Program
Serenity By The Sea
For details about this program, please email Wendy Perkins or phone me on (02) 4454 3556
Questionnaire
Does alcohol cost you more than money?
If it does, then ask yourself the following questions and answer them as honestly as you can.
If you answered yes to any one of the above questions, there is a definite warning that you may be abusing alcohol.
If you answered yes to any two or more, the chances are that you have become alcohol dependent.
Adaptation from the 40 Questions of Alcohol Anonymous Questionnaire
Common Behaviour Characteristics Of The Addictive Personality
- We have feelings of low self-esteem that cause us to judge ourselves and others without mercy. We cover up or compensate by trying to be perfect, take responsibility for others, attempt to control the outcome or unpredictable events, get angry when things don't go our way, or gossip instead of confronting an issue.
- We tend to isolate ourselves and to feel uneasy around other people, especially authority figures.
- We are approval seekers and will do anything to make people like us. We are extremely loyal even in the face of evidence that suggests loyalty is undeserved.
- We are intimidated by angry people and personal criticism. This causes us to feel anxious and overly sensitive.
- We habitually choose to have relationships with emotionally unavailable people with addictive personalities. We are usually less attracted to healthy, caring people.
- We live life as victims and are attracted to other victims in our love and friendship relationships. We confuse love with pity and tend to "love" people we can pity and rescue.
- We are either overly responsible or very irresponsible. We try to solve others' problems or expect others to be responsible for us. This enables us to avoid looking closely at our own behaviour.
- We feel guilty when we stand up for ourselves or act assertively. We give in to others instead of taking care of ourselves.
- We deny, minimize, or repress our feelings from our traumatic childhoods. We have difficulty expressing our feelings and are unaware of the impact this has on our lives.
- We are dependent personalities who are terrified of rejection or abandonment. We tend to stay in jobs or relationships that are harmful to us. Our fears can either stop us from ending hurtful relationships of prevent us from entering healthy, rewarding ones.
- Denial, isolation, control and misplaced guilt are symptoms of family dysfunction. Because of these behaviours, we feel hopeless and helpless.
- We have difficulty with intimate relationships. We feel insecure and lack trust in others. We don't have clearly defined boundaries and become enmeshed with our partner's needs and emotions.
- We have difficulty following projects through from beginning to end.
- We have a strong need to be in control. We over-react to change over which we have no control.
- We tend to be impulsive. We take action before considering alternative behaviours or possible consequences.
The Need To Change
We drank for happiness and became unhappy
We drank for joy and became miserable
We drank for sociability and became argumentative
We drank for confidence and became doubtful
We drank for friendship and made enemies
We drank for bravery and became afraid
We drank to forget and were forever haunted
We drank for freedom and became slaves
We drank to erase problems and saw them multiply
We drank to shut out the voices and ended up behind enemy lines
We drank to cope with life and invited death
I can give you the COURAGE TO CHANGE. Spend time with me and I'll show you the way to a life you've always dreamed of, a life free of alcohol. There is life after alcohol!
Common Traits Of Drug & Alcohol Addiction Including Denial
Many people first become concerned about their alcohol or other drug use or that of another person because of some negative consequence. Legal difficulties resulting from driving while intoxicated or drugged out, assault, or domestic violence may bring attention to a chemical problem. Loss of employment or broken relationships may also lead us or others to question our use of chemicals. Frequently a family member, friend or employer may say something about the amount of our drinking or drugging. These are signs for us to take a closer look at our chemical use.
If we are SOCIAL USERS, we can take it or leave it. If we are CHEMICAL ABUSERS, we may go through a stage of consuming intoxicating amounts and then moderate or limit our use or lose interest altogether.
If we are ADDICTS, we LOSE CONTROL of our chemical use and continue to drink and drug despite negative consequences. It is difficult to accurately assess the level of abuse or addiction in ourselves or someone we know. Anger, fear, denial and concerns about what others may think can make us misinterpret or "play down" what we see. Many of us may also be concerned abut being labelled an 'ADDICT' or "ALCOHOLIC"
Can I Take It Or Leave It?
Some of us question whether we really have a problem with alcohol and other drugs or are we just "social users". Social users rarely have consequences associated with alcohol or other drug use. They have little desire to use alcohol or other drugs to intoxication - to wipe themselves out! They may say, "Oh, I hate that feeling of being out of control". They may leave a drink half finished. Their lives do not revolve around chemical use. The people they associate with are unlikely to be heavy abusers or addicts. Alcohol and other drugs simply are not an issue in their lives.
Crossing The Line Into Addiction
Addiction is a complex disease with psychological, environmental, social, spiritual and physiological components. How do we know if we have crossed the line into addiction? Do we identify with having problems with alcohol or other drugs? Remember this important point: We don't willingly choose to be addicted. Most people don't want that label or lifestyle. Because of the stigma, we are not anxious to admit to having any kind of problem with drugs or alcohol.
Addiction knows no age or gender restrictions. Rich or poor, old or young, regardless of intelligence level, everyone is susceptible. Many alcoholics and addicts started out as social users. They progressed to abuse users. Their level of abuse increased. Somewhere along the way they "crossed the line" into addiction.
Some became addicted early into their use, perhaps almost immediately. Others used for years before experiencing problems. They wonder how they could have used for so long without consequences and then suddenly spiralled downward.
Some are able to stop at will - but it's the inability to stay "stopped" that's the criteria for substance abuse.
Where are we along that sequence? Have we tried to convince ourselves that we are social users? Do we really have a problem with alcohol or other drugs.
There are many kinds of denial besides saying outright, "I don't have a problem." Or pointing the finger at others and blaming them... You've got to remember that there are three more fingers pointing back at you!!
We need to look at our behaviour and our thinking and if we are concerned about addiction, we need to be rigorously honest with ourselves.
Common Traits Of Addiction
Addiction has three main characteristics:
LOSS OF CONTROL, DENIAL and PREOCCUPATION
LOSS OF CONTROL
Those of us addicted to mood altering chemicals don't have the luxury of making a choice about our chemical use. The biggest difference between abuse and dependency is that, as alcohol and drug dependents, WE HAVE LOST THE ABILITY TO CONTROL OUR CHEMICAL USE. We say that we are POWERLESS over alcohol and other drugs. Powerlessness means being unable to predict or to control the outcome when we use or how much we may use at any given time.
- We cannot guarantee our behaviour after using and abusing drugs and alcohol.
- We cannot predict how much we will use. We swear in God's name that we'll just have a few, and we honestly believe that. (A fairly good definition of insanity might be to expect different results from the same behaviour).
- We find ourselves using more and more and develop a condition called TOLERANCE.
- We have vowed to quit our use on several occasions but have been able to stop only for a short period or not at all. We tell ourselves that if we can stop for three months, we are not an addict or alcoholic. If we accomplish our goal, we immediately go back to drinking or drugging.
A major obstacle to recognizing our addiction is DENIAL. We tend to minimise or deny the effect our dependency has on others or ourselves. We minimize or lie about the amount of our chemical use or the amount of money we lose on gambling. This behaviour allows us to protect and continue our alcohol, drugs and gambling while preventing us from looking at the seriousness of our problem. We make excuses, explain away consequences or blame others. We end up being the last to know how severe our problem has become.
DENIAL CAN BE:
- Refusing to accept that we are alcoholics, addicts or gamblers. We still see chemical use or gambling as an option. (I can take it or leave it)!
- Minimizing the severity of our dependency and what we need to do to stop our use. We try to control our use...
- Ignoring the problems we have created because of our use.
- Focusing on other people's faults rather than on our own.
- Refusing to acknowledge people, situations, and events that cause us stress. We may deny the need to take action to resolve problems.
- Believing that we can live with some dishonesty in our lives. Secrets or lying by keeping silent become habits for addicts, alcoholics and gamblers.
PREOCCUPATION
Another factor in addiction is the preoccupation that alcoholics, addicts and gamblers have with the chemicals. Preoccupation means that we spend a great deal of time anticipating, planning and protecting our "hobby". Thoughts of using alcohol or gambling fill our minds constantly. Romancing about how it's going to feel when we finally get our hands on it.
Anticipation of pleasure is combined with the fear that somehow our plans will go astray.
- How, when and where can I use alcohol?
- How can I avoid trouble?
- Do I have enough of my drug of choice or should I be getting more?
- What excuse am I going to use this time to explain my absence?
This type of thinking illustrates what our priorities really are. Our performance on the job or our interaction with friends and family may suffer, but we don't want anything to interfere with our use of alcohol or other drugs or our ability to be able to gamble. Chemicals and gambling take priority over our families and our health. Our drug of choice comes first.
Preoccupation includes obsessing and planning while attempting to protect our next "high". We want to make sure that we are able to do WHAT WE WANT TO DO WHEN WE WANT TO DO IT - WITHOUT INTERFERENCE...
Not every drug and alcohol dependent person ends up in the gutter
Some of us conclude that we can't be an alcoholic or addict because we don't believe we have had any consequences of our chemical use. We haven't been in that much trouble - and when I get as bad as her or him - I'll certainly stop using. We don't seem to fit our own image of what an alcoholic or addict looks like! The park bench drunk or the bag lady of Burwood...
- We may hold responsible jobs - we may even be quite successful.
- We always show up for work - very rarely take a day off.
- We are well liked by other employees.
- We have no legal problems "I can't be an alcoholic! I've never had a DUI". Not yet anyway... On the law of averages - it won't be long.
- We say, "I never drink or drug before noon."
- We might say, "I can go for 3 or 4 weeks without touching a drop", or "I haven't used for a couple of months". That fact is that I'm irritable and frustrated because I'm "dry" at the moment, but I not going to tell you that...
- "I don't drink or drug as much as him or her so therefore I can't have a problem."
- We may be able to socialise with a glass of orange or a can of coke - just to prove a point to everyone. But who are we really trying to convince?
The above statements are typical of functional alcoholics or addicts. If we are functional alcoholics or addicts, we are able to get along in society while continuing addictive use of chemicals. We have not yet experienced the heavy consequences of our use. We are on BORROWED TIME.
The progression of our illness will ultimately bring us down. Our disease is Cunning, Baffling, Powerful and very, very Patient. It's lurking in the background just waiting for the right time to strike!
Some of us drink or drug periodically. We abstain for various amounts of time and then go out on a 'BINGE'. When we start our use, we experience loss of control. We drink or drug for the purpose of intoxication. We cannot predict the outcome of our use, and we may suffer consequences frequently. We may say, "I can't be an alcoholic; I don't drink every day." Nevertheless, we are truly addicted.
HELP IS AS CLOSE AS YOUR TELEPHONE - PHONE WENDY ON (02) 4454 3556
Warning: filemtime() [function.filemtime]: stat failed for /home/kusnet/public_html/vhosts/www.couragetochange.com.au/templates/alcohol-dependency.tpl in /home/kus/webapps/vhosts_old/inc/smarty/sysplugins/smarty_internal_template.php on line 443
